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Back to October 2012 Motorsports News Archive
| 01-10-2012 at 20:00: Former Beauty Queens Starved of Attention… Drive Me Cr... | |
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In the cold hard metal (or aluminium) of the automotive landscape, this cycle, from hot to not, evolves much quicker and the old maids appear even more desperate. It is also much harder to ignore an automotive Aunty Mary parading her muffler to anyone game enough to look sideways. A culprit of this desperation is the former diamond in the rough, the Mitsubishi Triton. When first released it was unlike any other ute, in both design cues, style and in finish. It attracted… no, it demanded a lot of attention for its looks. Even when the Triton was updated to be more tradie friendly, it maintained and continued to be admired for its dramatic stagecoach design. But now, just about every automotive brand with a light commercial vehicle in their stable has dropped a big new shiny ute baby into the world, and I mean big. The new crop of Rangers, Colorado, D-MAX and BT-50s are bigger and better than their former selves and unfortunately for Mitsubishi, much bigger and much better than the aging Triton. Even the long maligned Ssanyong have a somewhat interesting ute product, which if you squint from a distance, is up there with the big boys from Detroit and Tokyo. So what does the former beauty queen do to hide this shame of decreased attention and lack of sustained desire? It doesn’t, instead goes to town and plasters itself all over the TV and newspapers. What’s more, rather than featuring its attractiveness or features, it simply hooks itself on price. Sure this will get cash-strapped tradies and frugal grey nomads all hot, deep down in the zippers of their wallets, but it smacks of desperation pure and simple. Would you be proud to drive what was once the beauty queen now pitched firmly at the consumers of products from the Wall of Greatness? No doubt the team from Mitsubishi will soon be asking the buying public to ‘please consider’ their own sexy new release beauty queen. By then the Tritons competitors will already have two plus years jump on them, have eroded sales of Triton and created their own new loyal breed of devotees. The good news for the slightly aged Triton is that it need not feel like a sleazy Mrs Robinson for very long. Once its new incarnation appears, the current stars from Ford, Holden, Isuzu and Mazda will then become the former beauty queen who looked okay last night but now you find yourself seriously considering chewing off your own right arm to avoid… Written by Steven Henderson |
You see it all the time, the young pretty thing that once commanded all the attention and turned all the heads. Then 20 or so years later, the ravages of time have done their worst and the pretty young thing is now well and truly the desperate old maid trying to stay relevant and attractive. Whether they are known as the aforementioned old maid, a cougar or just scary Aunt Mary that you avoid at all wedding receptions, they all are better looked at in nostalgic photo albums or through some serious booze-goggles. ^ Back to top ^
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